30 Day Song Challenge, Day 8: A song about drugs or alcohol

We here at Angst Productions do not endorse or advocate for the use of any mind-altering substances in any way whatsoever. Except maybe caffeine–the “clean crack”!

I suppose that nothing goes together quite like nerds and caffeine. I came up in the era before “energy drinks” were so prolific and the chosen nectar hawked by every douchebag “extreme” bro. Back in those halcyon days, we had to get our fix the old-fashioned way: either a cuppa coffee, “high caffeine” sodas like Surge or Jolt, or–and only for the most desperate of times–by popping a couple No-Doze between classes like so many Jessie Spanos.

It’s that miracle little molecule that inhibits adenosine reception and staves off the drowsiness so that we can better manage to do important things like writing HTML for our Angelfire sites or playing Command & Conquer until dawn! Of course, the O.G. nerd rockers extraordinaire, They Might Be Giants, would have a song catering to their own admitted addiction to the stuff.

Some of my contemporaries lost themselves in alcohol, acid, ecstasy, or even that dreaded marijuana, but we tended to stray more “functional addict”: preferring to get our high from the things we built or the games we played. It helped us stay sharp at the expense of a raging headache if we ever missed a hit, but that was the trade-off for getting through the latter half of the “extreme decade” with grades and body more-or-less intact.

By the way, for the uninitiated, that episode of Futurama where Fry drinks 100 coffees and everything gets all weird and slow-mo for him? That portrayal is fairly accurate–except with more heart palpitations and diuresis.

Black coffee’s not enough for me; I need a better friend.

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