Barnsong

Once upon a time, people set certain short themes as their startup and shutdown sound effects in Windows. This is one that I used to have for a while, featuring Don Knotts.

Milk: “It’s a Health Kick” (circa 1989)

Drink milk! It’ll make you sexy!

Midas: “Foreign Car Brakes” (circa 1992)

Remember when foreign cars were still “exotic” and you had to take your Toyota or even a Daewoo to a specialty mechanic? Midas didn’t care where the car came from!

The Many Deaths of Barney The Dinosaur: Barnmmpr

I found these floating around AOL back in in the mid-1990s, perfect entertainment for a 12-year-old with a chip on his shoulder! If anyone can help me track down the original creator, please let me know!

Twister!

Teenage lovers Bill and Joanne try to survive a severe weather encounter that starts to sound suspiciously like the plot of the 1996 box office smash, Twister. (RIP Bill Paxton)

This is a novelty piece in the old “break-in” style pioneered by Dickie Goodman and Bill Buchanan where song clips replace soundbytes from interviews or dialogue.I downloaded this from AOL in the mid-1990’s, and I don’t recall who uploaded it originally.If you or someone you know created this, please let me know so that I may give proper credit.Thanks!

Gilbert & Montlick: “We Should’ve Called Them First” (circa 1992)

Early 1990s advert for Atlanta-area law firm Gilbert & Montlick. More ubiquitous daytime TV commercials.

Hallmark: “Valentine’s Day” (circa 1993)

Just in case you didn’t know that there was a company that made greeting cards. Also: It’s perfectly acceptable to give Valentines to Platonic friends.

Adventitious Geekery and other distractions created or curated by Matthew "Atari" Eargle