Tag Archives: relationships

Who were your 3 great loves?

This question was originally posted on Formspring.

In order to better illustrate the relationships I had with these women and to protect the names from the public at large, I am going to change their names to characters from Battlestar Galactica (2004).

First, there’s Starbuck (to my Apollo). We met and quickly developed an attraction for each other through common interests, and soon started dating. We were inseparable; she was welcomed into my group of friends as I was into hers, and there was always something exciting to do. That relationship lasted for two years until she broke up with me as I was finishing high school. Our lives went in two completely different directions after that, and, because I was so hurt (she was my first love, after all), I didn’t speak to her again for seven years. Once we reconnected, things were like nothing had ever happened. We were best friends again–wingmen to the end.

Boomer (to my Tirol) is not such a happy story. I met her at KSU and our relationship developed as close friends. Intimate details aside, we were best friends who happened to have sex (good sex) on a regular basis. We ended up living together for several months and the romantic part grew from there. This, honestly, was set in my mind as the ideal relationship–best friends who had sex and developed a deep and profound love for each other. At least, that’s what I expected the ideal to be. We were together for five years, and, in that time, we both grew and matured together. I finally found my direction, got into flight school, and was beginning to get my life on track. All was going extremely well until February of 2008 when the school I was at shut down, throwing my life into a tailspin. In an effort to recoup my losses, I moved to school here in Cochran. She, meanwhile, decided to persue “other interested parties.” Like her namesake, she unapologetically betrayed those who loved her most and reeled at any efforts to help her repair the situation.

Finally, Six (to my Baltar) is a strange flux. We had a whirlwind romance that blossomed from a great friendship, and everything was amazing. Amazing affinity, amazing fun, amazing sex. We could banter for hours as well as simply enjoy being around each other. We had a connection on the physical level and the spiritual level–like we had known each other intimately for years. We held the same beliefs and values, but we could also argue the finer points of more trivial matters. The problem here is that there were other forces at work. Career and familial obligations kept her busy on weekends and academic obligations kept us both busy during the week. Eventually, our romance succumbed to our own ambitions, and we (begrudgingly) parted as friends. Six marks the first time I have attempted to stay in close contact immediately after a breakup, and it has proved to be difficult.

There are others that may have qualified as “Great Loves,” but they were not so much game-changing as these three were. They–whether we dated or not–have remained close friends, and I cherish my experiences with them. They also know who they are.


It seems like every time I get something fixed, three more crises show up to replace it. I just need to get back to a good, solid zero and I’ll be generally okay. Let’s take a look at the updated situation since New Year’s Day:

I Received a notice of code violation from the county regarding Nadia’s truck that was still parked in the driveway at the house. I called a tow company to have it removed. No confirmation on whether or not the vehicle was, in fact, removed.

I also received some letter from the county building inspector alluding that my house is not up to code. Great. I don’t want the damned place, the bank doesn’t want the damned place, and no investor wants it either! Unfortunately, I’m on the hook for whatever this is, but it’ll be Monday before I can find out the details.

Granny gave me the money to get my flight account squared-away (back to zero), and I got details from Sandy at dispatch on how to monitor the account myself. At least I can keep an eye on it now. Meanwhile, I’m trying to get student loans to go into the account and get some flight time going. I still haven’t passed my instrument rating yet because of this financial craphole, but Chris is helping me stay on top of the game–as long as I keep him informed. Likely, what’s going to happen is that I’m going to not take a flight class this semester and, if I can get money in, fly “on the side” and take another required class instead. Maybe physics.

The downside to my flight account being zeroed is that now my checking account is sitting around ($350). That’s a negative amount, to the uninitiated. It’s all from not keeping track of the balance until it’s too late, so I have no one to blame but me. Unfortunately, I have to find some way to pay for shipping on my Amazon orders so I can continue to receive payments. I just sold my Transportation textbook, and I could use the $120 to offset the negative balance.

I need help from the parents, but when I earnestly ask my father for help to buy books–as he said he would–I just get the same old song-and-dance. I’m not asking for them to pay off my mortgage so I can try to sell the house again, nor am I asking them to bail out my irresponsibility with my checking account. I legitimately need help with school and keeping my head above water in the meantime. I would just like to be able to ask for help without being thrown for a guilt trip–it’s hard enough to swallow my pride enough to ask in the first place.

I’m starting to become more comfortable with being single. I really take solace in the fact that I should be by myself and get my own affairs in order before I get involved with someone who may take on a shared responsibility with me. That was a main problem with my ill-fated relationship with Nadia–neither of us had our idiomatic “felgercarb” together, and it caused a major rift. It’s best to learn from that. If there is someone out there in the meantime, the best thing she can do is be my best friend and confidant until the dust settles. So far, I’m actually fairly excited about staying in Cochran more often–it gives me time to myself. It gives me time to bond with my fellow pilots and start clubs and activities at the school. I want to be proud of my school, and I want be able to remember these years fondly as a time of rebirth and new development. Of course, I have my grandiose schemes, but those will be outlined in subsequent numbers.

Collections calls are still coming in, but with less frequency. With some perseverance, they’ll go away entirely soon. I have at least another Betty-load of stuff to bring down to Cochran for a more permanent existence. I need to get a few things out of the house in Smyrna–desk, light bulbs, maybe the refrigerator. I also have things to get from Nadia–books, mainly. I also have a number of her belongings–her SNES, games, and computer parts, mainly–that need to go back to her.

On a higher note, I do have plans. I have my grandiose schemes. Some of them are starting to come to fruition, and some of them are close to being activated. My friends have been the main focus in my life for several months now, and it’s time to, in the words of Mister Mister, “take these broken wings and learn to fly again.” You may or may not know who you are, but I appreciate your help from the bottom of my heart. I feel like I’m very close to “square one” socially–reconnecting with the people who were important to me in the past, and making them a part of my present and future. I’ve all-but closed my MySpace account; I check in every now-and-again for the few people who I don’t have on Facebook. I feel like MySpace represents a certain time in my life whose chapter has closed–like the middle instalment of a trilogy that we would sooner relegate to the dustbin in favour of the other two. My friends on Facebook represent the best times of my life: early childhood, high school, full-time at KSU, and flight school. Most of my MySpace friends cross over anyway, and I can really only think of four people off-hand that haven’t made the connection, so it’s manageable to call or email them periodically.

Overall, I’m still excited. It’s still an uphill struggle, but I know I’ve got the power available. Now, I just need to make the climb.

It’s a brand new day, and the sun is high….

Where Are You? (Courtesy xkcd)

More xkcd.

A Final Note on Closure (Courtesy xkcd)

This is simply a set of xkcd strips that I’ve collected mostly over the course of this past summer. Randall Munroe had an uncanny ability to capture much of what I was experiencing at that time.

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View on YouTube

Second Chances

Well, officially single. She left me to pursue other interests, and I shall pursue my dreams. When one door closes, another one opens–a testament to my faith and to my resolve.

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Times Are Just A Little Rough

Sorry to open on a downer, but I needed to vent. I’m feeling a little lonely here in Cochran, but this helps me put things into perspective.

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