Barbie at a vegan restaurant
Are the [vegan] Buffalo wings boneless?
Hillbilly at Hooters
On a fraternity outing, Hooters girls were told that it was Will’s birthday. Hokey Pokey-ness ensued.
Washington Apples: “A Whole New Crop” (circa 1989)
A little slice of inoffensive Americana in the late 1980s: slicked-back hair, leg warmers, oversized sweaters, slimline telephones, neon, basketball, and crisp Washington Apples.
Arby’s: “New Country Fried Steak Sandwich” (circa 1989)
Two presumably New Yawkuhs muse poetically about how the new Arby’s country fried steak sandwich makes them feel like they’re in the country.
Beef City: “Wake Up! It’s Freezer Stocking Time!” (circa 1989)
Guy Smiley’s unemployed cousin gets a little too excited when Mr. TV Announcer extolls the unbelievable deals at Beef City’s grand opening in Forrest Park!
Where else can you buy THREE HUNDRED POUNDS of top quality meat for ONLY $198?!?
Benihana: “25 Years Later” (circa 1989)
Upper-middle-class white folk just LOVE Benihana!
Bob Evans Sausage: “Princess” (circa 1989)
A little girl in a pretty pink dress is the pinnacle of wholesome. As wholesome and American as Bob Evans sausage.
Big Star: “Food Budget Tight?” (circa 1992)
Did anyone ever shop at Big Star? I remember a couple of them around Marietta–in what I remember being “sketchy” areas. There was the one where Fairground St intersects SoMar Pkwy, next to the old County Tag Office (where the Food Depot is now). I think I remember another one being up on the hill across from the Pizza Hut we used to go to at the intersection of Sandtown and Powder Springs. I still remember that big, star-shaped lighted sign glowing in the rainy night….
Burger King: “New Deli Sandwiches” (circa 1992)
Remember when Burger King tried selling deli sandwiches to compete with Subway and Blimpie as they started getting big? Me neither.